So, last weekend, I went about my usual business running some errands. On Saturday, I got a haircut (for the first time in like, a year LOL), and as us gals do when we’re at the hair salon, we chit chat with our stylists. My hairstylist, Katie, and I, got to chatting about life after making a big move (she moved to the U.K. from Ireland). As we were talking, one of the things that we both definitely agreed on (besides the obvious missing our family & friends) was the struggle of making friends as an adult
I thought this was such a good subject for a blog post because yes, I’m speaking from the point of view as someone who has moved, but I have no doubt in my mind that so many adults struggle with this. Making friends as children happens naturally. They have so many opportunities when they are young to make friends, because of school, extracurricular activities, etc. Children are bound to gravitate towards other like-minded youngsters and form quick bonds with them because of this.
But, adults have just as many opportunities to make friends. After all, we go to work everyday, and have our own hobbies and extracurricular activities, etc. Surely it should be just as easy as when we’re children? Yea, you would think so! It is seriously hard as HELL making friends when you’re an adult. Now, it may just be because I am extremely awkward in social settings, and I realize that there ARE people that are outgoing enough to make friends, but hear me out. There are many factors that come into play that make friendship in your adult years a difficult thing to achieve.
BEING A STRANGER IN A NEW PLACE
Moving to a new place basically means you have to hit “restart” in the friend department. Which, is damn near impossible when you’re in a place that you don’t know, where you don’t know anyone, and couldn’t even tell where the nearest bar is (of course that last point isn’t exactly 100% true since you can and will easily just google it). You are completely out of your comfort zone from everything you’d previously known, and going out of your way to meet new people can seem very daunting.
NOT ENOUGH TIME
When adulthood kicks in, so does the list of never-ending responsibilities. Most of us work full-time jobs – it’s a necessity in order to survive today’s world of rising house prices, everyday living, personal debt payments, and much much more. It’s not just a typical 9 to 5 job for a lot of people either – many work more than 8 hours a day. Add a growing family to that mix, as well as a routine that you start getting settled in, and a person’s free time is skimmed down to practically nothing.
SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS GETS IN THE WAY
Okay, so this probably doesn’t pertain to everyone, but there are a lot of people (myself included) that are so self-conscious of how they are when they are in public. It shows in a person’s body language and the way they act, making them seem unapproachable and uninterested in meeting new people. I know I’m certainly guilty of this. I think this might have something to do with the fact that, as we get older, we are more self-aware of how we are around other people, whereas children are much more care-free. They aren’t worried about saying the wrong thing, or concerned with the way they look/act.
NO EFFORT MADE TO MAINTAIN EXISTING FRIENDSHIPS
You know the drill – you make plans with someone to go out to dinner, or drinks later that week or upcoming weekend, and at first you’re all gung-ho for it. Flash forward a day before, or the day of said event, after a long week of work, kids, etc. – you just cannot be bothered to go out, and cancel instead. Or you get a text from a friend, see it and plan to respond…and then never do. Without even realizing, we make minimal effort to maintain the existing friendships that we do have. And we wonder why we have no one to go to when we need to talk?
I think it’s important to acknowledge the fact that it’s just so damn hard making friends as an adult. But we shouldn’t let it get to us because it’ll happen at some point – maybe not as easily as when we were younger…but it’ll happen.
Do you find yourself struggling to make friends as an adult? Let me know your thoughts!
xx Lauren
