If someone had told me years ago that I’d be raising two little boys in England, I probably would have laughed. Moving abroad was one thing, but becoming a mom in a different country? That was something I don’t think I fully prepared myself for.
I moved to the UK seven years ago, before I started a family. Back then, the biggest challenges were things like adjusting to driving on the other side of the road and figuring out how to open a bank account (which took two frustrating weeks!). But once I became a mom here, the expat experience took on a whole new meaning. Suddenly, I wasn’t just navigating British culture for myself—I was raising tiny humans in it.
If I could go back and give my pre-mom self some advice, here are the things I wish I had known before starting this journey.
1. You will miss your family more than you expected
Before kids, homesickness comes and goes, but once you become a mom, it hits SO MUCH harder. Watching my boys grow up without frequent visits from their grandparents, aunts, and uncles has been one of the hardest parts of expat motherhood. Things like video calls help, but they don’t replace the little moments, like my mom dropping by to help with bedtime or my dad playing with the boys.
It takes effort to keep those connections alive, whether it’s through scheduled calls, sending care packages back and forth, or sending pictures constantly (the Skylight frame is great for that – it was a hit this year for Christmas!). Having little reminders of home, like favorite snacks or sentimental decor, can make a big difference.
2. The UK healthcare system is different – not bad
I had my children in the UK, so I never experienced the US maternity system firsthand, but I’ve heard enough to know that things are very different here. The NHS is amazing in that it provides free maternity care, but I wish I had known how much I’d have to advocate for myself.
From midwife-led care (which I personally loved) to longer wait times for certain services, the system takes some adjusting. I also learned that you can choose private healthcare for faster access to specialists, pregnancy scans, and postpartum support. Everyone’s preferences are different.
3. British schools and nurseries definitely differ to the US
When I first started looking into nurseries and primary schools in the UK, I was overwhelmed. Applications start earlier than I expected, and I’d never heard of things like “catchment areas” and “Ofsted ratings”.
I also wasn’t prepared for how strict uniform policies are or how early kids start school here compared to the US. My oldest is in Reception now, and I’m getting a crash course in education the British way.
4. The weather may change how you parent
Back in the US, I would never have taken my toddler to the playground in freezing weather, but here? Rain or shine, the kids are outside. It’s completely normal for schools to send children out to play in all kinds of weather – something I wasn’t used to at first.
Now, I’ve fully embraced the “there’s no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing” mindset. A good rain suit and wellies are non-negotiables. That all being said, it could also just be down to the fact that I’ll go stircrazy if we’re cooped up all day!
5. You’ll have to build your own village
One of the biggest struggles of being an expat mom in the UK is the lack of a built-in support system. There’s no dropping the kids off at Grandma’s for an afternoon or calling up a lifelong friend to help in a pinch.
I’ve never been a very extroverted individual, but have had to be very intentional about making mom friends – whether it’s through baby groups, school drop-offs, or even social media. It’s not always easy, but having even a small support system makes all the difference.
6. The grocery store won’t have everything you’re used to
Adjusting to British supermarkets was one thing, but once I had kids, I realized just how much I missed certain US food staples. Things like Goldfish crackers, Kraft mac & cheese, and proper peanut butter? Nowhere to be found.
Over time, I’ve learned what British alternatives work and which things I’ll always order from the US. (Spoiler: mac & cheese is never quite the same!)
7. British culture will rub off on you (and your kids) – obviously
One day, I realized my toddler was saying “Mummy” instead of “Mommy,” and it hit me – I am, in fact, raising little Brits! British culture has completely seeped into my daily life (as it should).
I used to think I’d be the one shaping my kids’ cultural identity, and I am in a way, but honestly? They’re teaching me just as much.
Becoming a mom in the UK as an expat has been full of surprises—some challenging, some wonderful, and many just plain funny. If you’re an expat mom (or thinking about becoming one), know that while the journey can be tough, it’s also incredibly rewarding.
You’re giving your kids the gift of a multicultural upbringing, and that’s something really special.
I’d love to hear from other expat moms – what’s something you wish you knew before having kids abroad? Drop a comment below! And make sure to follow me on Instagram at @theiramericanmum where I share my daily life as an American mom living in England.
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