You may be asking why I’m posting a random picture of me sitting in some random cafe, looking a bit meh. This photo was taken on our trip to Dublin in March, after I found out that I was pregnant.. I was in my first trimester, and around this time is when the pregnancy symptoms realllyyyy started to hit me. I felt so awful all of the time. Trying to look my best, but internally wanting to die/vomit/sleep all at the same time
Am I the only person who absolutely HATED my first trimester? I’m sure I’m not.
Not only is the morning sickness at it’s worst (although mine just seems to go on and on – thank you, hyperemesis gravidarum!), but you’re tired (like, shockingly tired), confused, happy, anxious, hungry (or not) and every other emotion/symptom you can think of at the same time.
All of your symptions are at their peak, but what made it especially difficult is the fact that you feel like you’re keeping a HUGE secret at the same time that you’re dealing with all these changes. Because you are. There is so much stigma around telling people that you are pregnant in the first trimester, in case anything happens. The worst feeling in the world is to tell people you’re expecting, only to turn around and say that you’ve lost your baby-to-be (firsthand experience here). It’s heartbreaking. Because miscarriages are often experienced in the first trimester, it makes the idea of letting anyone know terrifying. Hence why most women wait until they’ve reached the second trimester to do so.
But I really think that is actually hurting us a bit in a way.
My husband and I waited until I reached my second trimester to let loved ones know I was expecting. There are certain people that I had to tell earlier, due to my sickness, like my work and mother-in-law (we live with her, so it was hard to hide!). But we tried to keep it under wraps. I was so worried about telling my family back in the States, and it made me feel awful all the time. I felt so guilty for keeping something from them for so long. It was such a relief when we finally got to tell loved ones.
Keeping something like pregnancy under wraps is so stressful. You’re worried about people asking questions, finding out too early, doing anything wrong, etc. All while feeling physically awful. I found keeping it to myself for so long made me, well, quite miserable and lonely actually. Especially with my hyperemesis gravidarum diagnosis. I had my husband and mother-in-law to speak to (who have been so incredibly supportive), but all I wanted to do was call my mom and ask her what her pregnancies were like, or call my siblings and tell them they’re going to be aunties and uncles.
I think if more women were to feel more comfortable with sharing their pregnancy sooner, it would make the first trimester a hell of a lot easier. It’s just my opinion, based on my personal experience. Obviously it is up to each woman when she decides that she wants to let people know, whether it be the first trimester, second, or even third. In the end, you should just do what you feel is right!
xx Lauren
I can completely relate!
I’m now 29 weeks pregnant and the first trimester was the absolute WORST!
I was sick several times a day, every day for the first three and a half months and felt like I couldn’t even move as everything ached and I had so little energy. Luckily I work from home, although I had to take a lot of time out.
I told my friends and family as soon as I found out I was pregnant which was at 8 weeks. I wanted to wait a bit longer until after the first scan at least but I’d always been told I can never have children and was heartbroken so this little baby is a complete and utter miracle and I couldn’t wait to spread the word!
Love Lozza xo
http://girlygabble.com
Congratulations on your miracle baby! I can see why you would want to tell everyone ASAP! It is so difficuly to hide such exciting news. I teetered back and forth for weeks on when was the right time to tell everyone. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders lol.
Wishing you all the best!
xx Lauren
I really agree with this, Lauren. My best friend is 12 weeks pregnant but told me way earlier than that, despite being advised not to. As my friend put it though, even if DID have a miscarriage, she would want to talk to me about it anyway. Also, she knew I wouldn’t buy the old ‘I’m on antibiotics’ line when she turned up every month carrying a bottle of non-alcoholic wine x
Right! It’s hard to hide sometimes! Good thing your friend has you to confide in! x
I agree.. I had HG in all 5 pregnancies. It is so isolating and mentally hard. We are superheroes! Thanks for highlighting this.
Oh my gosh, you poor thing! I feel for ya, massively! It is so draining, physically and mentally xx
First trimester is definitely tricky especially if you are a first time mom…then I guess everyone gets used to the discomfort 😉
Haha yup, definitely agree with ya there!
I found the first trimester really hard, I’m not sure if it is compounded by the fact that I was newly single and pregnant and felt very alone.
I was never sick but the feeling of general yuckiness was awful.
I was a bit of a party girl before so people guessed a long time before that I was pregnant due to the lack of late nights!
Good luck with your pregnancy x