Becoming a parent is the most amazing transformation one can go through, but it can be overwhelming. You’re thrown into a completely new world, with this little human that you’ve just met (that you created!) and suddenly you need to create a new “normal”. That has been hard for so many of us new parents to do the past year due to the coronavirus. Being a new mother, raising a baby during lockdown (THREE lockdowns to be exact) has quite possibly been the hardest thing that I’ve ever done.
When I had my son, I never would have imagined life being anything like this. It was supposed to be full of things like mum & baby groups, play dates, and chats with other new parents commiserating on the little amount of sleep we’re getting. There were supposed to be family trips out to places like the zoo or (dare I say) Peppa Pig World. I imagined visits from long-awaiting family members, filled with lots of hugs, kisses, and quality time spent.
The reality of parenthood during this pandemic has been completely different. Instead we’ve had lockdown after lockdown, with tough restrictions in place. Play groups have been canceled, and my baby has received virtually zero socialization in his short 13 months of life. We’ve been cut off from family members indefinitely, lessening our support system even more. Being a new parent is a lot of “learn as you go” to begin with, but I wish I had the ability to have had more people around me. The old saying “it takes a village to raise a child” is something I’ve always believed in, and this pandemic has robbed us of our village.
Aidan’s world is so small. And, while it may make no difference to him, it does to me. To him, everything is great. He’s the center of attention, gets virtually everything he wants, and has the time of his life at home. I should be happy, because he is so incredibly happy. I just feel so incredibly sad sometimes when I know that he’s not getting the socialization that he should be getting, and getting to see family members that are desperate to meet him. There’s been a whole year of memories that should have been made that just never happened.
Over the past year, there has been a lot in the news about parenting in lockdown. I’ve noticed that a lot of the focus tends to be on how school-aged children are affected; about parents having to juggle WFH and remote learning. I can’t tell you how thankful I am that I at least don’t have the added stress of having to guide Aidan in remote learning, and I applaud every parent in that situation, I really do – I know it can’t be easy. There’s no doubt that this pandemic affects all parents.
But sometimes I feel as though parents with babies and toddlers are kind of, I don’t know the right words…left out of the bigger picture, in a way? There are so many resources that should be available to us that we cannot access. Those play groups for example? Those aren’t only for our babies; they’re for us new parents. Those are vital for our mental health. I appreciate why those things have had to shut for now. It’s so important that we get cases down and get this virus under control. But it doesn’t take away from the frustration felt every single day.
I love my son more than anything, and am thankful my husband and I have been able to spend the time with him that we have. I know in a “normal” world, Steve would have had to miss out on a lot of things because he’d have had to go to work. So, we are lucky in a way. But when your baby isn’t sleeping through the night still, is up at the crack of down, and you have to chase him around because his new favorite thing is to climb from couch to couch, and you’re working from home? It takes stircrazy to a whole new level. There’s nothing there to break up the day a bit more and you can only do so much before you give in and turn on BabyTv in an effort to get five minutes of calm. And there’s little to no break from it all. There’s no grabbing a cup of coffee with a friend (sans babies) to just decompress. It can all be overwhelming; to say there have been a lot of meltdowns since being in lockdown is an understatement (and I’m not just talking about the baby).
I have extremely high hopes that things will get better soon. That a few months from now, Aidan will be at a play group, laughing and playing with other babies and toddlers. With the news of vaccines being rolled out more and more, it finally feels like there is an end in sight, and I can’t wait for all of the opportunities it will open up to show my baby boy the world he’s been missing.
xx Lauren
Hi Lauren, It looks like you’re doing a great job!
I know from experience how difficult it is to look after a baby and write a blog at the same time. It must be tough to miss out on seeing your family and the help they could provide. I was interested to see my toddler easily slip back into playing over the summer, after some initial hesitation; children seem to be pretty adaptable. I myself missed years of school and it all worked out fine in the end.